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Archive for June, 2009

As the band really takes off, it is becoming more and more apparent that we require support of the non-musical variety.  Just this weekend, for example, Foxy was in a state of near hysterical excitement in anticipation of not performing on Sunday. But it really bummed her high that she had to concentrate on the logistics of not hauling all of that extensive percussion equipment along.  And this same weekend Catman was all aflutter because he wasn’t sure whether it was sheet music or a tambourine that he needed to remember not to bring.

Accordingly, OES is now accepting applications for the position of ROADIE. While we currently require only one roadie, we reasonably expect interest in the band to explode exponentially in the coming days and weeks, so the new hired help may require help himself or herself as the band’s requirements grow.

THE IDEAL APPLICANT

  • Your overriding goal is to become the hottest Toronto roadie.
  • You exude hotness from every pore of your body, 24/7.
  • You are hot, or plan to become hot sometime in the future.

QUALIFICATIONS

  • Must live in, or someplace relatively near to (or not) the greater Toronto area.
  • Complete lack of experience in the music industry, moving industry is a definite plus, but experienced applicants who can demonstrate steadily declining skills in these areas will be considered.
  • Must be able to provide a photo of yourself against a brick wall for use on the OES official blog site (this is, in fact, the only hard-and-fast qualification).

DUTIES

  • Not moving musical instruments and stage equipment from one place to another.
  • Being hot.

RENUMERATION

  • While this job offers no physical rewards (you’re too hot for “money”), you’ll gain invaluable experience in hotness from being a part of the OES experience.  You will also make hot Toronto networking connections that will open doors for you for years and years to come (probably).
  • You will be profiled on the official OES blog (here) and MySpace profile, gaining exposure among potentially dozens of people.
  • You will be valued and loved. “Just a roadie” is never a phrase you’ll hear from a fellow OES member (even if you are assigned with a nickname like “The Loser” or “Mr. Useless”).

TO APPLY

Fill out the comment box below and describe, in ten thousand words or less, what qualifies you for this job.  Both successful and unsuccessful applicants will be notified by email).  We’ll also provide updates on our Twitter feed, so follow us to keep informed of progress on this and any other future job opportunities at OES.

ROCK ON! – Serge

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There’s been a few rumours that have been flying around cyberspace lately (more or less) that I (Serge) would like to put to rest.  The band members are very happy with their present employment as hot OES musicians and would not dream of not performing with some other musician or band.

To deal with the most persistent and egregious rumours…

  • Wailin’ Lill is not planning at not writing a song for Sheryl Crow.  She and Ms. Crow have no working relationship whatsoever.
  • Knave Daylord was not recently discussing plans to go solo while out on a drunken binge with Flea.  Tiny is frequently found intoxicated, but he’s not been boozing it up with Flea, and he has no plans not to play the bass guitar with anyone except OES.
  • Foxy Vee has not been trolling Famous Drummers from A to Z looking for other percussionists not to perform alongside. Through my connections with the Toronto Police Dept. (or some organization very much like, or not, the Toronto Police Dept.) I’ve acquired her Internet records from her ISP, and the closest she’s come to a drumming-related website is this.
  • I, Serge Page, have not been in discussions with any G8 leader to not manage the current financial crisis. Band management is different than managing monetary policy and, in any case, they’ve all been doing a fabulous job of not managing the economy without my assistance.

In short, OES is one big happy family (with the rare exception of those times we’re sort of screaming at one another, which rarely occurs more than twice a week).  Not a single band member would forgo being uber hot in favor of lesser hotness with another band.

Rock on!

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All the band members who were conscious on Monday (maybe half?) were very happy to see that OES had managed, again, not to make the Polaris long list.

The Polaris Music Prize is “Canada’s first juried award for creative artistic achievement in recorded music.”  Aside from that fact that “recorded music” and OES go together like oil and vinegar, the band is clearly far too hot for the Prize.  OES is certainly not in the business of being judged by jurors.

The chances of us making the short list, to be announced 7 July, are probably somewhat reduced by the fact we didn’t make the long list.  But you never know.

We understand and applaud the efforts of other hot Toronto bands that have made the list, and are especially proud of their efforts given that OES owns the title of hottest Toronto band.  Long list Toronto band nominees and their albums include:

  • Arkells – Jackson Square / Hamilton (close enough)
  • Bruce Peninsula – A Mountain Is A Mouth / Toronto
  • D-Sisive – Let The Children Die / Toronto
  • Elliott Brood – Mountain Meadows / Toronto
  • F*cked Up – The Chemistry Of Common Life / Toronto (this is a “family-friendly” blog – ha!)
  • Great Lake Swimmers – Lost Channels / Toronto
  • Junior Boys – Begone Dull Care / Hamilton (close enough)
  • K-OS – YES! / Toronto
  • K’NAAN – Troubadour / Toronto
  • Metric – Fantasies / Toronto
  • One Hundred Dollars – Forest Of Tears / Toronto
  • Charles Spearin – The Happiness Project / Toronto
  • Timber Timbre – Timber Tiimbre / Toronto

Congratulations to all the long-listers above!  If OES ever retires (perhaps sooner than you think), perhaps they’ll be up for the hottest band title.

ROCK ON! – Serge

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I don’t know if any of you music types have heard of this, but there’s a website out there called “MySpace” that allows you have a nifty profile page that lists everything about your band, and even upload pictures and (if you’re so inclined) music.  Pretty cool, huh?  I wonder if it will catch on.

Anyway, once you have a “MySpace” music profile you can then contact other musicians and ask ’em if they want to be friends.  I know, I know … pretty cool.  I’m proud to announce that OES has been befriended by the hot toronto band “Toronto Drug Bust”.

Toronto Drug BustWhat’s not to like about this fabulous Toronto band from Slovenia? Not only is there this hottest of CD covers (CD release happening in September), but their founding member is Sir Izak K.O.  I wish I had coined that name.

They’re more than their MySpace page:  check out their website.

Toronto Drug Bust Web Site

Alright, maybe you want to check out their website in a little while.

In the words of the immortal Andrew Gold (I actually had to look his name) “Thank You for Being a Friend.”  While they can’t yet claim to be the hottest Toronto band (we all know who that is), they’re pretty damned hot, and OES is honoured to be among their 250 MySpace friends (who are these “White Stripes” guys and this “David Bowie” guy in their top eight?).

Be sure to check out the Toronto Drug Bust on MySpace and, of course, ROCK ON!

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Toronto, ON – June 6, 2009 —  OES, widely acknowledged as the hottest Toronto band, announced today that they have issued a press release.

“This press release is just another milestone on our road to bigger and better things,” said band Manager Serge Page. “It is a testament to how far the band has come.”  Page went on to say that many fans would be surprised to hear that this is the second press release issued by OES, the first concerning their decision not to appear at the MMVA.

Page dismissed criticisms that today’s press release was lacking in substantive content, and was mind-bogglingly self-referential.  “Other bands issues press releases with ‘content’,” said Page.  “I understand and applaud their efforts to achieve legitimacy through such tactics, but OES is altogether too hot to engage in such shenanigans.  OES doesn’t make news, we are news.”

Rumours the band would be issuing a press release were very much not the buzz around Toronto in the past few days, and publication of the press release has not set off a new round of speculation concerning the next time the band could not be caught performing.

Want to receive OES Press Releases? Leave us a comment with “subscribe” in the first line and we’ll add you the list!

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How Hot Are We???

How Hot Are We???

I’m really happy to report that we now have a page up for each and every member of the band.  Yeah!!!

Check out the band member biographies section for everything you ever or (never) wanted to know about OES, incontrovertibly and undeniably the hottest Toronto band.

A lot of you who haven’t come out to see us not perform have been wondering about what each member of the band thinks, how the band members look, and even which instruments each hot rocker doesn’t play. Finally, answers to these and all burning questions concerning just who makes up the powerhouse machine known as OES.

So check us out and hope you rember to not come out and see us not perfoming soon.  Rock on!!!

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