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Archive for May, 2009

The hottest Toronto band ever heard not performing.

The hottest Toronto band ever heard not performing.

Well, it’s an historic moment as I post these first pictures of the band not performing together.  I confess that it was something of a teary-eyed moment as we made sure nobody had forgotten not to bring their instruments, and then lapsed into that first blissful moment of silence as the band expunged all thought of noise from its collective brain, and – well, we were a band.

And hot?  Wow!  It was as if we hadn’t being playing together simply forever, and that all these talented people instinctively knew how not relate to each other and the skills their fellow musicians didn’t possess.

When I say “we” I mean the musicians, of course.  I’m just the band’s manager, and don’t want to be seeing to be taking credit for this amazing inaugural achievement for OES.  But I feel I share a bond with the members of the band proper that goes beyond a “business” relationship.  We are OES, and I share in the pride each of the members of the band should rightfully feel for their role in making this an unforgettable event.

Needless to say everyone was totally pumped about not doing this again, and I’m drowning in email messages and telephone calls trying to juggle the schedules of seven people who are itching not to appear together soon.  I hear through the grapevine that one of the band’s members (I won’t identify him or her, except to say that he or she isn’t the drummer, lead guitarist, vocalist, keyboardist or even one of the band’s many tamborine players) is having problems sleeping because of the anticipation.

It was a hot time for the band (really, it was a hot sunny day)

It was a hot time for the band (really, it was a hot sunny day)

The problem is, where not to perform next?  If you think it’s easy being the hottest Toronto band, think again.  Where you find yourself not appearing has big impact on your reputation.  Yeah, we’re eager for the next date, but we don’t want to been not making an appearance at someplace that could hurt us in the long run.  That’s why we considered so carefully the decision we eventually took not to appear at weddings (I’d be lying if I said this was a unanimous decision, and if some feathers weren’t ruffled deciding on this policy, but we’re moving past this moment and I can assure you everyone on the band is getting on with one another splendidly).

So we’ll not to it again soon!  I want to make sure that I get the band bios and pictures loaded up by that time, though, because I know people are going to be curious to check us out once they don’t see us more and more.  ROCK ON OES!

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Toronto, ON – May 15, 2009 — The musical ensemble OES, widely acknowledged as the hottest Toronto band, announced today that they would not be attending the 2009 Much Music Video Awards on June 21 in Toronto.

“I’m very pleased to confirm we will not to be attending this year’s event,” said OES Manager Serge Page.  “The band has worked really hard at not releasing any music videos this year, and our absence at the MMVA will surely help solidify the reputation of OES as hot music video artists.  We appreciate the hard work and dedication of the artists to be honoured at the Awards, and appreciate that many bands have to work on their video reputations by ‘producing’ music videos.”

To date, only People’s Choice nominees have been announced, a list OES is obviously too hot to make.  The band and its fans feel confident that they will also successfully avoid being nominated for any of the main awards when they are announced later this month.  “Of course there’s always a chance that we could be nominated,” says Page, “but hopes are universally high throughout the band that this won’t be the case.”

Categories in which the band hopes not to appear include Best Video, Best Independent Video and MuchLOUD Best Rock Video.  Asked if a nomination might compel OES to reverse today’s decision, Page insisted they will not be attending the MMVA under any circumstances.  “We’re too hot for the MMVA,” said Page.

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I and all the band members were saddened to learn that the music festival scheduled this summer on Olympic Island has been cancelled.  We were very much looking forward not appearing next to Broken Social Scene.  How will the world know how hot of a band we are if we’re not able not to perform at such events?

Aside from BSS, we’re sad not to not appear on the stage with Explosions in the Sky, Thunderheist and Apostle of Hustle.  Our drummer, especially, was looking forward to not being at the gig.  “I have not been practicing for this event for weeks now,” she confessed to me today, a little teary-eyed.

Quick tech note – did you know you can also follow us Twitter via your mobile phone?

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We’re new.  We’re hip.  We’re hot.  In fact, we are the hottest Toronto band, OES!

Why haven’t you heard of OES until now?  Maybe you’ve been living under a rock.  Or maybe you go to gigs, buy CDs, or are an active member of the “live music” community.  OES is too hot for that.  Way too hot.

OES doesn’t need no stinkin’ gigs.  We don’t need those environment destroying CDs.  We don’t need the false sense of importance that comes from “playing” an instrument.  We’re way too cool for that.  That very coolness is what makes us the hottest band in Toronto.

Want to know more?  Well, keep watching.  We’re rolling slowly into the music world of the GTA with our unique look, outlook, and “sound.”  Watch this blog or follow us on Twitter, where you’ll find as hottorontoband (Twitter unfortunately has a character limit for user names, because we’re not a hot Toronto band, we’re the hottest Toronto band).

Peace, and rock on!

OES

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